Thursday, February 08, 2007

Engineers jokes

There are only 10 types of people in the world: Those who understandbinary, and those who don’t.

Pessimist: The glass is half-empty.Optimist: The glass is half-full.Engineer: The glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

Why do engineers confuse Christmas and Haloween ?Ans: Dec(Decimal) 25 = Oct(Octal) 31
Teacher: What is 2k + k?Student: 3000!

Life is complex: it has both real and imaginary components.

Check out this post you might be a geek if .

And here is what I think:
You have to be a geek, if :
- You can actually look at text and recognize the font by its name.
- You have long arguments about what blogging software to use.
- You can think of a pickup line involving WOW.
- You broke up with a girl online.
- You know someone who knows someone who has a friend whose email ID you know.
- You have researched about carpal tunnel syndrome.
- You have a stuffed Penguin at your desk that reads Linux rocks !
- You have an opinion about how social networking has impacted Opensource development.
- Your girlfriend buys you a usb hard drive for your birthday. And you’re happy about it.
- You brag about your system configration or your website traffic.
- You email yourself notes/reminders.
- Someone says “enhance the curves” talking about some graphs, and you don’t get the pun.
- You think silicon is used only for computer chips.
- You bought your girlfriend a website on her birthday.
I will keep this series going. Should be fun !

Sunday, February 04, 2007

Watch that fly

There was a fly above the water...A trout lookedupandsaid,"ifthatflydrops 6 inches, I'll have myselfsomedinner."Therewasabearlooking atthe fly and trout. He said tohimself,"If thatflydrops6inches, thetrout will jump up to get it,thenIwillhavedinner."Ahunter wasstaring at the bear. He thoughttohimself,"Ifthatflydrops 6 inches,the trout will jump and bear willleapoutandIcanhave a clear shot atthe bear."A mousewaslookingateverythingthatwas going on and hethought, "If that flydrops6inches,the troutwilljump to get it, thebear will leap out atthetrout,thehunterwilltake a step forward toshoot the bear andhissandwichwillfall outofhis pocket and I can havemyself some dinner."Acatin atreewasalsolooking at the situation andhe thought, "If theflydrops6inches,thetrout will jump to get it, thebear will leapoutatthetrout,thehunter will step forward and shootthe bear, themousewillmovetogetthe sandwich that fell from hispocket and I canjumponitandhavedinner."Well, the fly dropped 6inches, thetroutjumpedandgotthefly, the bear leaped out andgrabbedthetrout,thehuntersteppedforward and shot the bear, the sandwichfellfromhispocketandthemouse moved to get the sandwich, but...thegunshotscaredthepussycatand it fell in the water......The moral ofthestory:whentheflydropssix inches, the pussygetswet........................................................

Questions for thinking

- What is the speed of dark?
- Why are there Braille signs on drive-up ATM's?
- If women wear a pair of pants, a pair of glasses, and a pair ofearrings, why don't they wear a pair of bras?
- What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
- After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting outof the water?
- If knees were backwards, what would chairs look like?
- What happened to the first 6 "ups"?
- Why does your nose run, and your feet smell?
- If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?- How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't live there?
- Why when a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment, but when awoman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 per minute ?
- You know how most packages say "Open here".What is the protocol if thepackage says, "Open somewhere else"?
- Since Americans throw rice at weddings do orientals throw hamburgers?
- Why are they called buildings, when they're already finished?
Shouldn'tthey be called builts?
- The light went out, but where to ?
- Why is the alphabet in that order?
- If you got into a taxi and he started driving backwards, would the taxidriver end up owing you money?
- If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
- If a train station is where a train stops, what is a workstation?

Hierarchy in action

When the staff goes out together after work, they talk about football or basketball.

When middle management gets together, they talk about tennis or baseball.

Top management discusses golf.

Conclusion:The higher up you are in management, the smaller your balls are

PS: I hope my manager hasn't subscribed here!!